Conversations with a Broken Brain, episode 2

Hey.

What?

I just remembered the lyrics to that song you were humming earlier.

That’s nice. Now shut up.

No need to be rude.

It’s four in the fucking morning. I feel like this revelation could have waited until my alarm went off.

I’m just trying to help.

Right. Great. Thanks. Now GO TO SLEEP.

Remember the time you wet your pants at school? Let me play that scene for you in vivid detail.

No.

Here it is from another angle.

Please no.

I bet you can feel the humiliation even now. The white-hot embarrassment creeping up your spine, the tears struggling to escape your closed eyes, the feeling that everyone in the world is staring at you…

Stop it!

Okay, fine. Let’s change the subject.

Please just let me sleep. Please.

EVERYONE IS DEAD.

What? No they’re not!

Well, if they’re not dead, they will be someday, including everyone who cares about you. Maybe even tomorrow. How would that make you feel?

Stop.

Maybe they’ll get hit by trucks. Maybe they’ll be poisoned. Maybe murderers are breaking into their house this very second. Maybe you’ll wake up and be all alone. Forever. 

Stop…please…

And it will be your fault, because you fell asleep. The only way to keep everyone alive until morning is to stay awake picturing them living another day. And you can’t let your concentration slip for even a moment, or they’ll die. Horribly. Cursing your name.

That’s almost certainly not true.

Yes, it is.

No, it can’t be.

Yes, it–

SHUT UP! I have shit to do in the morning! If you don’t knock it off, I swear I’ll stick you in a blender on the “puree” setting and have a brain smoothie for breakfast.

Okay, jeez. I’ll let you sleep.

Thank you.

Sweet dreams.

Good night.

Hey, what if there are spiders in here?

I hate you so much.

 

Introducing the Herring Collection

There’s new stuff on my Etsy store! Let me introduce you to my Herring Collection, a series of intricately beaded bracelets made with herringbone stitch. Right now there are four versions for sale with more to come.

(Click any picture to see a slideshow with commentary.)

To celebrate the launch, I’m participating in the upcoming Etsy sale! From August 31 to September 4, these bracelets will be 10% off. You can find the Herring Collection by doing an Etsy search for SkirkbucketStudio (one word) or by using these links:

Blue/Silver Herring Bracelet

Copper/Teal Herring Bracelet

Green/Silver Herring Bracelet

Olive/Bronze Herring Bracelet

Corvallis Art Center Display

 

Sooo… How are you? Whatcha been up to lately? Mm-hmm. Good, good.

Oh, me? I’m glad you asked. I now have jewelry for sale at the Corvallis Arts Center! Check this ish out:

(Click any picture for a slideshow with commentary.)

Besides my wares, the Art Center and its shop feature some truly amazing art by local artists. Go show them some love!

Herringbone Bracelet Fever

 

EDIT: Now with pictures that don’t suck.

Last month I took a beading class at Spearit Beads in Albany, Oregon. The instructor, Darlene Powers, did a great job. (She teaches classes regularly in Albany and the Dallas Antique Mall. You can see samples for upcoming classes at either of those locations. Check it out!) We learned how to make a really nifty bracelet using two-hole beads.

As I am wont to do with a new craft, I went a little crazy after the class. I made a LOT of bracelets, you guys. I modified the pattern very slightly on some of them, because Gods forbid I actually follow directions. Here’s a gallery of just a few of them (click any picture to see a slideshow with commentary).

Similar pieces will be for sale on my Etsy site soon (along with all the other shit I keep promising). Right now I’m working on some super fancy versions for the Corvallis Art Center. More on that in a future post.

Conversations with a Broken Brain, episode 1

 

What are you doing?

I’m working on this bracelet, obviously.

It sucks.

No. No it doesn’t. Also: Fuck you.

Seriously, it sucks. You’re incompetent. I can see three flaws and you’re not even halfway done.

Those aren’t flaws, I just changed the pattern slightly. I think the design is more cohesive this way.

You must be joking. Messing up patterns? Thinking you can modify designs and it won’t end in disaster? You’re not even a real artist.

Yes I am!

Um, no. You’re just a n00b with delusions of grandeur. How many pieces have you sold on Etsy? How many galleries display your work? Does anyone not related to you read your blog?

That’s not what makes an artist. A “real” artist is someone who makes art. Period.

Hiding behind inspirational quotes, I see. I assume you got that one off a bumper sticker.

Actually, I have heard it from many artists I admire. Besides, success takes time. I’m not going to improve if you make me give up.

Being a REAL artist requires more talent and hard work than you’re capable of.

That’s not true…is it?

You think other artists spend this much time arguing with themselves? Your production rate is abysmal. Furthermore, everyone else’s art is much better than yours. Everyone’s.

…Even if that was true, it wouldn’t matter. I’m still an artist.

Fine, you’re technically an artist. But you’re trying to make this a legit business. Who the hell do you think you are, thinking anyone wants to buy your shit? There are a lot of unsuccessful artists out there who are way more talented than you. It’s arrogant to think YOU have a shot.

I’m talented. I think.

You know who doubts themselves? Losers.

Okay, I KNOW that’s not true. Everyone has doubts sometimes.

Other people’s doubts are unfounded fears. Yours are a reality check from your gut feelings.

No.

Just accept that you’re worthless and give up.

No!

You’re a waste of space and so is your art.

…No.

Yes, it—

SHUT UP! You’re wrong. I know you’re wrong. You won’t win this time. I. Am. An. Artist. Moreover, I’m a good artist.

Sure you are.

Don’t I take medication to keep you from talking this way to me?

You can’t turn off the truth.

IT’S NOT TRUE, DAMMIT! I am done with this pointless argument. You won’t stop me from creating. I am finishing this bracelet, and I’m going to sell it, and it will make someone happy, and you can just go fuck yourself.

Whatever you say, O Delusional One.

I hate you.

I am you.

I know.

Liberate Your Art 2017 Postcard Swap

This is my first year participating in the annual Liberate Your Art postcard swap, and I am hooked. I connected with some badass artists, got nifty art to display in my studio, and made some cool postcards of my own. I’m definitely going to do this again next year.

(If you don’t know, a postcard swap is an event in which artists get their original art printed onto postcards, then mail them to each other. In this case, the postcards were sent first to the swap host, who addressed and distributed them.)

I’m not sure who all got my five postcards, but I heard from a few. One of my recipients was a local woman (Tennille McVeigh, photographer extraordinaire) who is also a member of the Brownsville Art Association. Another of my cards went to Europe. This was my postcard design:

This design features one of my favorite ways to monoprint: a doily on a gel plate.

Now check out the cards I received! To see all the cards sent everywhere, visit Kat Sloma’s blog. Speaking of which, many thanks to Kat for hosting this swap! She’s got this down to a science.

Click any picture below to see a slideshow with commentary.